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AQ Connect - Query Critique Corner

Open to all AQ members. Want free feedback on your query letter? Create a discussion thread and post your query. Request query critiques from all AQ members, including the AQCrew. Prefer a more private query critique? Create your own new, private group and invite only specific AQ members to review your query and offer their feedback.
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My First Query: Feedback Requested

Posts 5 | Posted 2 minutes ago |   Okay Ken....let's try something a little more subtle. One line details about your query, without all the hoop-la. 1) It is most certainly too long. 2) Think of it like fishing buddy. Hook em first, then more...

Query for YA Fantasy novel!

Posts 9 | Posted 12 minutes ago |   Thanks everyone with your help! I think the problem for me is I have 3 main characters. Even though Emmealea is the title character there are 2 others that are important to the plot as well. The first more...

WEbook Page to Fame -- Part Nine

Posts 84 | Posted 21 minutes ago |   Deborah. Yes, a couple listed didn't like the idea. One said gram was bad, others just said writing needs work. I'm only at 20 rates right now. No 5's, no 1's. 35% -4, 40% - 3, 25% - 2 The way I figure it, more...

Kid's Mystery Novel Query Letter

Posts 4 | Posted 2 hours ago |   You might also want to say something in the last paragraph like, "This novel would appeal to readers of The Red Pyramid" (recent popular kid book involving Egyptian gods/goddesses, written by the same author as more...

Query Kick-around contest

Posts 1 | Posted 5 hours ago |   http://yalitchatquerycontest.wordpress.com/ It's not free... not unless you're a paying member of YALITCHAT, but it could be helpful.

LORELIE MOON - 4th try query letter (I've tried to trim the fat, and took out about a hundred words from the original)

Posts 5 | Posted 5 hours ago |   So, I guess you're getting asked for more information (sometimes), but less length? That's tricky. One suggestion: whenever you have a noun followed by a descriptive clause, see if you can get rid of that more...

Flute music, haven't sent any queries out yet, too nervous, would appreciate any and all comments

Posts 1 | Posted 5 hours ago |   Sixteen-year-old Mala knows plenty about discrimination. Now she gets to do something about it. Mala befriends a Native American woman, Aiyana, who's faced injustice herself. She's been ostracized for her more...

Query in need of review Lessons I Learned After My Death

Posts 2 | Posted 9 hours ago |   Hey, alright! Great hook, great query, cool story! If I looked close enough there may be a nit or two in there, but I liked the story so much I didn't notice any at first glance. I would find this very more...

re-re-write of query revised revision 22 for EMISSARY -- didn't like 21 -- what do you think -- need all comments

Posts 2 | Posted 9 hours ago |   I have read and read your first paragraph and you have used the word Galactic alot. Can you possibly cut it down. "As Earth is being prepared for a greater cause, a ban on travel the the planet by outsiders more...

QUERY: THE ORGAN THIEVES

Posts 17 | Posted 12 hours ago |   Daybreakers was a very good movie, enjoyed it immensely, but it is quite a bit different from what we know from your query...only similar in the fact that someone is harvesting something human. In any regard, more...

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CHURCH MUSIC MANAGEMNT

Posted 8/30/2010 10:39:25 AM | Download |   IT IS A QUERY ABOUT MY NEW BOOK CHURCH MUSIC MANAGEMENT,PLEASE LET ME HAVE YOUR COMMENTS.

Ric Floyd

Posted 8/22/2010 3:26:57 PM | Download |   Below is my latest revision of my query letter's hook and pitch. Any suggestions, comments, or criticisms are welcomed. RF When Karl, a cocky twenty year old, guitar playing factory worker, met Evie, a more...

Query for The Crocus Snowfall

Posted 8/17/2010 8:55:57 AM | Download |   This is my second Query Letter, please give me your opinion My first inspiration for this true story gave me the opportunity to travel back in time? All those fine memories when I was a teenager still in more...

Query Letter Rough Draft

Posted 8/15/2010 3:44:57 PM | Download |   This is my very first query letter and I have been researching advice on how to write one from both agentquery.com as well as guidetoliteraryagents.com. I need to know what to keep, what to throw out, what to more...

Sharon Williams

Posted 8/15/2010 12:10:38 PM | Download |   Hello everyone, this is my first query letter, and I thought I'd share it with you all and get some feedback and suggestions. I have not had any luck with agents so far, so hopefull this will help. Please let more...

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butterflykisses • online now

Hey AQCers: April 30th 2010 was a good day in White River Junction Vermont. My nephew's murderer, Kyle Bolaski, was charged with second degree murder today and carted off to jail. This is something my more...

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British non-red headed step child looking to find the perfect agent who can see my vision and tells me how to make it shine. I write in several genres and I am sitting around with several different completed more...

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I have been a woman entrepreneur managing a very successful manufacturing business for the past twenty five years. Writing ads and copy for this company was one of my favorites. Now finally with free time on more...

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I love to read, write and run. Not necessarily in that order. I read mostly YA. Love paranormal romance. Probably because I worked as a psychic full-time for a couple of years until I got burnt out from it. more...

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I am a single mother of two who has been writing for years, stealing all available time when possible to write. I have several short stories and two novels completed, but it wasn't until I started the YA novel more...

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The AQCrew moderates the AQConnect system. We are in-charge of keeping everything as smooth as Vanilla Ice. Ice, ice, baby...

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Who does not like a good story? Reading them, hearing them and writing them if capable. I know I do. Always have! Essentially I have carried with me a desire to create a novel all my life. For many of us the more...

MarcyKate

Long an avid reader of anything I could get my hands on and a writer of short stories and poems, I completed my first novel, GLOW, in 2009. I've written two other novels since (THE GHOST WRITER, a YA ghost more...

Barbara Struna

Recently, I completed my first historical novel, based on myths and legends that intertwine with a modern day character and her family. I would like to find an agent and connect with other writers and more...

Ken Menzies

I am a living dichotomy, a dyslexic who could write before I could read, someone who overcame dyslexia the hard way and by doing so retained all of its advantages. I hold a masters degree as well as two more...

annierab2

I've been a reader all my life, and a writer almost that long. It's an addiction, writing, inventing people and situations to entangle them in. I've completed a science fiction novel, have another in the oven, more...

bigblackcat97

I have three finished manuscripts under my belt, plenty of ideas, and a nice lawn tractor. I've worked for six years as a young adult librarian in a public school building that serves both younger and more more...

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I'm interested in improving my writing skills and networking with other writers. I enjoy reading and writing paranormal, fantasy, and science fiction.

joanq6

I see fictitious people. Sometimes I blog about it at http://the-bookself.blogspot.com

DarkLight

I've recently finished my first novel (approx. 95,000 words) and I'm getting ready to submit my first batch of queries (only 4 to start). I enjoy well written fiction, regardless of the genre, but I was raised more...

Patricia Megahey

I am a kindergarten teacher, mother of four, and first time writer. I just finished my first young adult novel, and I am in the editing/revising/submitting stage.

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I'm a physician, an Internist and have been practising for over ten years. My sister got me into writing and now I can't stop. I've one MG conplete and am revising my YA novel. Finding the time is the hardest more...

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I am writing and revising my second novel (first one is kept under strict lock and key unless I happen to need a good laugh). I live in LA but miss New England SO bad (Maine and Western MA in particular) and am more...

layinda

I am seeking a literary agent to publish my YA novel, a contemporary boy book with a historical twist. I have passed out my manuscript to several teacher friends for objective feedback from their eighth more...

Richard Pieters

Peddling a paranormal thriller. Love terse, literary writing, good thrillers, horror, spooks, but also can be suckered in by cheap sentiment. Well, not too cheap! I don't blog, although I have a couple. I Ching more...

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