Chat Victims Needed For Critique...er, Volunteers Needed

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Jeff Moores, literary consultant, has very generously offered to critique 5 query or manuscript opening paragraphs during his chat on Wednesday night. (The Tuesday chat will be more along the lines of past agent chats.)

What that means for you, dear AQ members, is this: We need volunteers!

He is hoping for a variety of genres to critique. (Nonfiction and fiction.)

If you would like to put your name in the hat, I will draw names from this thread on Wednesday (April 29) noon (Eastern). If you are interested in this critique opportunity let me know in the comments section below. Please state whether you would like to put a opening paragraph from your manuscript OR query. If you have no preference, that's fine, but please state that. As well, please state your genre ie, memoir, YA fantasy, commercial fiction, nonfiction, etc. We are looking for diversity in order to cover as much ground as possible.

It is probably best if you are able to attend the chat, although other arrangements can be made if your paragraph is selected and you are unable to make the chat. HOWEVER, you do have to agree to allow your paragraph to be critiqued live by Jeff in the chat and that your paragraph and any comments made in regards to that paragraph to be 'published' in the AQ chat transcripts and held in the chat archives area. We also urge you to be gracious and polite (and as thick skinned as possible) during the critique so everyone can get as much out of the critique as possible.

You will be helping not only your own writing but other members (and future members) as well. If you are up for the challenge, let me know in this thread.

Thanks!

[Updated on 4/27/2009 1:44 PM]

laurenlynsey

I would love to put my name in the hat! I have a MatureYA/Adult Crossover Fantasy. Query would be prefered, but i'd be totally happy with my first paragraph being critiqued as well!
Lauren

annnoe

Hi Jean,

I'd love to put my name in the hat. I don't think I'll make it Wednesday, but I don't mind being talked about. :) Mine is Crime Fiction - Noir. I'd like to offer the query paragraph, since my first ms paragraphs are very short - dialog.

Ann

Emily Bartnikowski

I would love supply my opening paragraphs from my YA/Adult (college aged protagonist) Murder Mystery.

What time is Wednesday's chat?

kdjameson

I would love to submit my opening paragraph as well (time to recommit!). Mine is literary fiction, gay male protagonist. Also, I'm on the West coast and work in the evening, so I'm also wondering what time it is PST.

kd

chatmoderatorjeanoram

There is more info on Jeff's TWO chats here: http://agentquery.leveragesoftware.com/group_discussion.aspx?DiscussionID=7598b35ab9d8452fb7265d018669f547

The first chat, Tuesday at 9pm Eastern, will be on the publishing business and will be a 'formal' question line-up and answer sort of chat--bring your burning questions. (By the way, he has a great website at: http://www.jeffreymoores.com/ )

The second chat will be Wednesday at 9pm Eastern. This is the critique chat. He'll take a few samples as provided by you lovely folks and critique them. If folks have questions about his critiques or how to improve on the 'problems' he highlights, he will be there to answer. It is an unique opportunity and we are very lucky to have him.

We'll aim to spend about 10 minutes per piece as the chat is an hour long.

If your first ms paragraphs are short, I'm sure he wouldn't mind looking at the first 100 or so words instead. So, if you have a short first paragraph in your story, feel free to still toss it in the hat. (Too much length will be hard to post in the chat anyway as it only allows about 200 characters to be posted at a time.)

And if you can't make it, no worries as you will be able to read it all the next day in the transcripts.

:)

chatmoderatorjeanoram

KD, it will be at 6pm for you.

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Last chat we had folks from all over the world dropping in. That means figuring out what time this chat will 'really' be happening can be tricky. If you need help figuring it out, try this site:
http://www.timezoneconverter.com/cgi-bin/tzc.tzc

Click on radio button that says: "use the following date/time"
Change date to April 29, 2009 (good for if you are off the North America continent.)
Change time to '9:00' click on 'pm' radio button.
'From Time zone': choose 'America/New_York' (This is the Eastern timezone)
Then in 'To Time Zone' choose your area of the world. (If you don't see your city, choose one that is either North or South of you for best results.)
Click on 'convert time now'. It will look like it didn't do anything, but you will notice in the pale blue box in red letters it will say what time the chat will be in your timezone.

This map may also help: http://www.worldtimezone.com/

Hope that helps!

ralphpines

I would like to put the opening paragraphs of my first book. It is general fiction.

paolito

would love to put my query in for thriller/suspense

I'm assuming that if my name is drawn, I provide you my query at that time?

Cheers,
Paolito a.k.a. Sheryl Dunn

[Updated on 4/27/2009 2:34 PM]

annnoe

Okay, I can go either query or ms, then - no preference.

Ann

butterflykisses

How are you, Jean?

This is a nice twist to the norm. AQC never ceases to surprise us, huh? I'd like to give it a shot with my mss first para.

Thanks for the info.

BK

butterflykisses

Sorry, Jean, I imagine I should tell you it's middle grade fantasy.

BK

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Yes, if you are drawn, I will ask for your paragraph (either query or manuscript) at that time. (I will keep a confidential copy of your paragraph in case you are unable to make the chat. That way, it can still be submitted to Jeff during the chat for critique.)

I will do the draw at noon (Eastern) on Wednesday and contact those who were drawn through AQ. So if you are putting your name in, make sure you check your AQ home page (http://agentquery.leveragesoftware.com/mypage.aspx) for a message from me. I will also post a list of the chosen victims on this site. Dang, I keep saying 'victims'. I mean, chosen sacrificial lambs. Double dang. Chosen volunteers.

jrmcclarren

I would very much like to volunteer my query, but the first paragraph of my nonfiction military/war ms would not do much good. It is a battle scene that is several paragraphs long. May I presume that that will not work? In any case put me in. I will be there, Lord willing.

gpfile

I am going to be unable to make the chat, but I am willing to sacrifice... er Volunteer my first paragraph of my MS... Please throw my name into the hat :)

Gpfile

candycane

Count me in for your sorting hat,Jean. As mentioned before, I am working on two manuscripts right now. One is traditional fantasy. The other is YA urban.

cheers
Candy

chatmoderatorjeanoram

GP, fantasy (adult)?

chatmoderatorjeanoram

I'm good BK. It is a unique and novel opportunity, isn't it? A big thanks to Jeff for his willingness to offer this to our members.

suemarnitz

Hi Jean,

I'll throw my query into the hat. It's mystery.

Sue

clippership

Where are the transcripts normally posted?

susanjake

Hi Jean,

If you still need non-fiction, I'd like to submit my paragraph for "Boundary Street."

Than you!

Susan

ihaveadream

Dear Jean:

Thank you for this opportunity. I would like to submit the opening paragraph of my commercial fiction.

Mitzi

natlthomps

I'd like to throw mine in as well- chick lit/contemporary romance.
Natalie

natlthomps

Oh- I meant the first paragraph. Don't think the query's close enough for anything at this point!

candycane

Forgot to mention I would prefer first paragraph but would go for query if that's required.
k thx

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Hi Mitzi, I was thinking about you and Clancy the other day and there you are! :)

Peter Morin

Jean, being the noob here, I will not even ask - but I do look forward to perhaps another chance some weeks away, after I've been able to contribute sufficiently.

rbattles

I don't know if I'm coming or goin'.

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Peter, the chat 'draw' is open to all members, new or old. If you would like to put your name in the hat, you are most welcome to do so. An opportunity to have a former agent, turned literary consultant/editor critique your first paragraph doesn't roll by every day--even on AQ--so don't be too polite for your own good if this is something you want to do. Jump in!

Besides, the sorting hat craves variety.

Stacy Hummel

I would live to be a guinea pig, Wednesday! I have a YA fantasy Novel, which is my first real attempt at writing out a story, normally I do this artistically in the form of a graphic novel. As long as work allows I will be able to join in the disscussion.

Peter Morin

Thanks Jean, I'd be inclined to enter the drawing - but I will definitely NOT be able to be on the chat, and I don't want to risk taking an opportunity from someone who can definitely be present.

(This is all consistent with the ethics of my main character, despite his sardonic and irreverent manner.)

Besides, my first paragraph is only three sentences, and I will not write a query until I am sure the novel is completed.

yvonnetherese

Throw my name into the hat. Mainstream

jlealopez

definitely throw me into that hat, jean! Women's fiction. I'd go for either ms paragraph or query, doesn't matter. this should be fun!

Heydoo

I'm in too. Query would be fine; my opening paragraph is four words long.

diamonte

Hey - I'm interested in putting my name in for the opening paragraph of my novel. I have a YA Fantasy novel that I'm working on.

Thanks!

umennre

I will submit my query letter for my YA/Adult Fantasy.

Thank you
David

emilyemme

I'm putting my hat in the ring as well (might as well keep the whole hat idea going). I would prefer the opening paragraph of my manuscript, which is literary fiction, but the query would be fine too if I'm given the chance to submit either.

Thanks!

Laura Rittenhouse

I would love to have the opening para of my women's fiction novel critiqued. And I have very thick skin. I will attend the chat from Australia.

If it helps, I also have a crime fiction novel and I could send that opening para (probably 2 since first para is one sentence) instead.

abdullah71

I am interested. Please comment on opening para of my Literary novel set in India.

THE HOLY FIG - by Abdullah Khan ( LITERARY NOVEL)

CHAPTER ONE
------------------------
The indignant evening, thoroughly beaten by a storm, descends on the city. The dust particles, lifted from the unpaved footpaths of Patna by strong winds and sprinkled in space, are still dancing in the air. The specks of darkness appear on the horizon indicating the imminent arrival of the night. The rain comes. The unsuspecting dust particles are hit by the free-falling raindrops and fall flat on the earth. The rain doesn’t last long but before it departs, the sky is washed clean. The moist and cool breeze makes it feel as if winter has arrived. The clouds drift away. The night finally arrives, painting the city landscape black except for a few dots of brightness. The electricity supply has been disrupted by the storm and will be restored by tomorrow except in a few selected VIP areas where Patna Electricity Board employees have been either coerced or bribed to mount the electric poles in the night to connect the snapped wires or repair the damaged transformers. The storm has also disrupted the train services. At many places railway tracks have been damaged. At the railway station, the loudspeakers relentlessly announce that there is no train till the next morning. They say they are sorry for the inconvenience caused to the passengers. One of these passengers is a man in his mid-thirties, tall and thin with a serious, almost sad face that belies his age.

andeverythingnice

Please count me in for a possible Query Critique! My WIP is a YA Paranormal/Urban Fantasy.

Much thanks! :)

pamchampagne

I'm interested. Romantic Suspense is the genre. I do work full time though and can't access web from work.

Pam Champagne
pamchampagne@tds.net

katrinasforest

I'm definitely interested. I'd like to use the opening paragraph from my query. Genre is YA Science Fiction.

lorisimeunovic

Yes please! My genre is contemporary women's fiction. I will provide a paragraph from either the query or manuscript (if you have a need for one over the other).

Thanks for this great opportunity!

Lara Nance

I would love to participate. My Genre is Urban Fantasy and I can provide a paragraph from my query. Thanks for the opportunity!

Kenneth

I'll sign up sure, can't win if you don't play right? I want him to critique the first paragraph of my YA fantasy novel. Seems to be a lot of fantasy contenders already. I'll just trust in some old fashioned luck.

belindaf

I'd love to volunteer for a query critique. My genre is Middle Grade. Thanks!

benglehart

April 6, 2008, I witnessed the fatal accident of 27 year-old race car driver Shane Hammond at Thompson International Speedway. I'd never witnessed a driver die on the track in my lifetime as a race fan. I was shaken enought that I had two choices. I could quit going to the track altogether, or I could dig deeper for understanding. I chose the latter and followed the short track scene for the '08 season, interviewing drivers, car owners, track owners, and crew members, finally coming to terms with the young driver's death when I met Hammond's remarkable mother Debbie in the pits at the Waterford Speedbowl the last race of the season. My book is a memoir of discovery, wonder and overcoming grief.

jeanann

Thank you, Agent Query for providing this opportunity. I'll volunteer for a query critique for my 1960's era middle grade fiction.

sarat1011

I'd be interested in submitting my query. Would it be the entire query or just the first paragraph, though? I ask because I keep reading some saying that they'd like to submit their query while others say they'd like to submit the opening paragraph of the query?

In any case, my genre is multi-cultural fiction (dual narrative) with two protagonists--one female in 2005 and one male in 1929.

writerperson

I'd love a critique of the opening paragraph of my upmarket mystery.

jfredlee

Hi, Jean-

I would love to put in my query or the first graph for HAIR OF THE DOG. It's a humorous, quirky mystery.

Thanks.

-Jeff

katzmcmullen

Hello Jean,

Please put my name into the critique lottery. I'm looking to push Come And Get Her, my historical fiction about film star Frances Farmer.

Thank you,

Kathy McMullen

chatmoderatorjeanoram

We are getting a lot of variety, thank you everyone.

Yes, it is ONLY the first paragraph of EITHER your query letter OR manuscript (can make it the first 100 words if the first paragraph is really short). But you can say that you are willing to toss in either one.

I do need you to mention whether your work is YA, MG or adult--even if it seems obvious. For example, there are middle grade mysteries. The sorting hat craves variety!

And I do *not* need your query or paragraph at this point. :)

[Updated on 4/28/2009 10:35 AM]

[Updated on 4/28/2009 10:38 AM]

chatmoderatorjeanoram

I need more info from the following members before I can toss you in the sorting hat:

Heydoo: What is your genre and audience age (young adult, adult, etc)?

Pamchampagne: Age of audience (YA, adult) and query/manuscript or toss in either.

Laranance: Age of your urban fantasy?

Kenneth: Age of audience?

.Belindaf: Genre please

Benglehart: Query, manuscript or either or?

Katzmcmullen: Query, manuscript or either or?

Thanks!

Kathryn

Hello Jean,

I would be more than happy to throw my hat in the ring for either a query or opening paragraph for my traditional adult fantasy novel.

Thanks!

- Kathryn

isadoredog

I would appreciate his critique of the first paragraph of my query letter. My novel is women's fiction. Thank you.

Annette

bobbimumm

Hi Jean:
Please put my name in the draw for the critique of my opening paragraph of the query letter for my mystery (cozy).
Thanks.
Bobbi

gpfile

Sorry Jean - Fantasy Adult yes. :)

ethernaut

Ooh, I want to play this lottery! My novel is commercial fiction.

rahmama

I have a middle-grade book called The Dead Cats Society. The story is told through the eyes of cats, and has some mystical, fantasy elements. However, it is not a traditional fantasy as most of it takes place in contemporary America, rather than a mythical setting.

I'd love to throw my first paragraph in the hat.

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Ethernaut, what would you like to toss in the hat? Query paragraph or manuscript paragraph? Is it adult commercial fiction?

Thanks.

horserider

I'll but mine in that hat too. :) I don't really have a preference. My novel is a young adult fantasy.

belindaf

Middle Grade-Adventure? Here's the query:

Larkin’s is a rescue mission where every minute counts. Each passing second brings her friend Benny closer to death and means losing Mr. Amurat, the one person that can help her control her innate magical ability.

Mr. Amurat is trapped in the Egyptian Underworld as a pawn in Principal Reameny’s quest to overthrow the sun god, Ra. Unless Larkin and her friends can stop Principal Reameny, the Earth will plunge into eternal darkness and chaos.

Hindered by an ever-changing landscape and dangerous inhabitants of the mythic Underworld, and guided by a shape-shifting cat, Larkin must rescue Mr. Amurat, get Benny home alive, and overcome an unexpected betrayal— all before the next sunrise.

Larkin Shift and The Hall of Two Truths is a 45,000 word middle grade novel and is the first in a planned series.

yvonnetherese

I forgot to specify that I would prefer to have the first para. of my ms critiqued. Thanks

kitazfrenzy

I would like to put my name in to. Mine is YA science fiction/fantasy with some paranormal elements. It's called "Werelove" and as you can guess it's first paragraph from my novel.

susanmmo

I'd like to submit the opening paragraph of my manuscript, an espionage thriller (RELUCTANT MARTYR). Thanks!

calbannin

I'll put my name into the ring for the first para or query of 'The Boston Secret,' a supernatural thriller with an enormous twist. In fact, the whole book is just the leadup to the last 3 pages. Thanks for the opportunity!

[Updated on 4/29/2009 1:23 AM]

chatmoderatorjeanoram

The sorting hat and I will be picking names in less than 3 hours. If I have asked for more info from you in one of the above posts, please post that info here before then. The sorting hat will only accept volunteers who have listed genre, age of audience, and what they would like to toss in the hat (paragraph from query or manuscript). If I haven't asked for more info from you in this thread, you are fine.

This may seem picky, but we are hoping for a great cross-section so the critiques can all have something new, thus making the whole chat as mind-blowingly informative as last night's was. (Didn't he say get rid of every adverb--dang. That's a hard one to break.)

Kenneth

Sorry for the late reply. My novel is young adult.

kdjameson

Hey Jean! Last night's chat was super and you did a wonderful job managing all of it. Just wanted to update you in case it makes a difference about the sorting hats picks - I am still very interested in having him critique my first paragraph, however I will have to see a client during that time. I won't even be able to sneak a peek until after it's over. So, if you need to choose folks who will be able to be present for the chat/critique, I will understand that.

kd

lindast

Almost too late. I'd like to submit first paragraph of a chick-lit---or maybe granny lit--- novel.

chatmoderatorjeanoram

The entries are all being blessed by a sparkly rose and are being prepared on their own slips of paper to enter the hat--sorting hat sort of looks like an elf hat. Stay tuned...

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Okay, an impartial, non-AQ affiliated 6-year-old helped the sorting hat and here's what we've got:

JrMcclaren representing the nonfiction folks with his adult military/war query paragraph.

Yvonnetherese representing mainstream/commercial adult fiction with a manuscript paragraph.

Emily Bartnikowski representing YA/adult crossover murder mystery with a manuscript paragraph.

Belindaf representing middle grade adventure with a query paragraph.

Butterflykisses representing fantasy with a middle grade manuscript paragraph.

Congratulations!

If you are listed above, please send me your paragraph (ASAP) through AQ's message service. Click on my face and then click on 'send message'. If you have questions, please let me know.

Thank you everyone for participating. This is part of what makes this online community so great.

The chat will run at 9pm Eastern tonight. See you there!

Peter Morin

Jean, I read the transcript from last night - very interesting! Jeff is going to be on Cape Cod this summer, I might have to attend to say hello.

Sorry I couldn't compete for this one - duty calls. I'll hope for better luck when the next one (hopefully) comes up.

chatmoderatorjeanoram

For those who are unable to make tonight's chat, the transcripts will be available in the chat room area after midnight (Eastern). :)

It should be a good one tonight. Thank you again to everyone.

annnoe

Thank you, Jean. I got last night's transcript already, and I can't wait for tonight's (but I'll have to :) ). I am so sorry I won't have the opportunity this time to click on your face. ROFLOL, I'm sorry I couldn't resist.

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Well, you could click on my face anyway, just for 'clicks'.

:)

See in the chat, Annnoe.

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Thank you to tonight's volunteers. I know I'm not the only one who appreciated you putting yourself 'out there' and allowing us all to learn from your writing.

You done good!

chatmoderatorjeanoram

Here is a link to the transcripts:
http://agentquery.leveragesoftware.com/chat_view.aspx?id=c7a00b83aea34409a7fcca38ec35f585